ratherastory: (Default)

Title: If There Is A Flame, Don't Snuff It Out (Garden 'verse, Part 6)

 

Summary: Dean approaches Lisa with a problem.

Characters: Lisa Braeden, Dean Winchester

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 2,247

Warnings: None

Spoilers: None

Neurotic Author's Note #1: So, uh, hi folks! I'm still here. I told you I had plans for this 'verse, didn't I? So, here I am, continuing those plans. I have other stories to tell, and they'll likely end up out of order, just like in Fusion. This is the story that wanted to be told today. It's set a few years after The Kids Are Still Alright.

Neurotic Author's Note #2: It's my birthday! The universe rewarded me with crippling vertigo, but since I was almost done with this story, I figured a birthday fic would be a nice way to mark the day. Once this is posted, I'm going to turn over in bed (yay laptops!) and have a nap. :P

Neurotic Author's Note #3: You'll have to forgive how rough this is. It honestly feels like I've forgotten how to write in the past year and a half. I'm hoping that if I practice more, I'll get my mojo back properly. This isn't beta'd, either, because I don't want to chicken out before posting it. ;)


If There Is A Flame, Don't Snuff It Out )If There Is A Flame, Don't Snuff It Out )
ratherastory: (Default)
Title: And If I Show You My Dark Side (Will You Still Hold Me Tonight)
Summary: Dean will never let Sam go, and Sam knows it. This changes nothing, but it changes everything.
Characters: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC17
Wordcount: 2,982
Warnings: Consensual sibling incest. Spoilers up to the last aired episode of S9. Also, major trigger warnings: Major character death. Explicit depiction of suicide. Not the same character, either. Basically everybody dies. Sorry.
Neurotic Author’s Note #1: Well, on the plus side, I wrote something? I haven’t had much time or energy or inclination to write these days. Financial worries tend to kill the muse for me, and on top of that everything’s been busy and exhausting. Sorry.
Neurotic Author’s Note #2: On the not-so-plus side, I am really sorry for this story. No, really, I am sorry. Current canon is making me sad, and when I am sad I sometimes write really fucking depressing fic. Sorry. Also, this is not beta'd at all.
Neurotic Author’s Note #3: The title is taken from Pink Floyd’s The Final Cut from their album The Wall.




Dean is waiting in the motel room when Sam gets back. )

*waves*

Feb. 12th, 2014 12:47 am
ratherastory: ([MST3K] Evil & the Narrator)
Not dead.

I've been writing a bit. Nothing ready to post, but it's nice to get back into the habit of putting fingers to keyboard for something other than work and Twitter. I even managed to get some writing done while I was at home last week, which is a first. It wasn't much, but it was something, and I'll take it.

I even had a wee plot bunny for this season of SPN, which hasn't happened to me since Season 7. I am having trouble with the current canon, and even more of a problem with fandom's reactions to current canon. There is so. much. Sam-bashing. To the point where I, once again, have found myself scratching my head and wondering if people are watching the same show as me. Granted, the writing has been sub-par for a while, and I don't think the writers are hitting the emotional beats that they're aiming for. They've hit the target, but more like the outer rings than the bullseye. They're not even close to centre target, alas. So that probably accounts for some of it.

The point being, I have been keeping away from fandom, because my psychological make-up is such that I find this sort of thing profoundly upsetting. (I just want everyone to get along, okay?) I have been avoiding meta posts, even by authors I know are generally pretty balanced in their view, or at least take the time to explore what's going on (rather than pick a "side," whether it be pro-Dean or pro-Sam, and for the record I find Dean-bashing just as upsetting as Sam-bashing, because I'm a Sam!girl and it hurts my soul when people say mean things about Sam's brother). I am unwilling to take the risk that the comments in those posts will end up upsetting me due to their content.

This sort of thing negatively impacts my enjoyment of the show, in a significant way. I'm no longer as emotionally invested in the show as I was when I watched the first five seasons. After the main 5-year arc ended, my investment waned little by little, until now SPN is a show I love to watch, but it's not the show of my heart anymore. I haven't replaced it with another, mind you. I've just spread myself out a little, fandom-wise, and dabble a little in a few places. But I resent anything that makes me not want to watch SPN, and comments about how awful one of the boys is, or how 'shitty' an episode was, make me reluctant to watch, especially as I'm always at least a day or so behind, often more, due to work and life stuff.

Long story short, I have deliberately stopped any dialogue with fandom, in order to preserve my sanity and my enjoyment of the show, such as it is. That's where I'm at. But at least I'm writing again, and exploring other fandoms while I'm at it.

Note: This is NOT an invitation to discuss any kind of meta in the comments. I will delete any such comments with extreme prejudice and, if I must, lock down comments on the entry entirely. Don't make me do that, okay? Thanks.
ratherastory: (Default)
Title: You Can't Break Away--And You Never Want To
Summary: Firefly crossover/fusion-type thing. Dean accompanies his brother to visit Sam's old friend Inara, with whom he underwent his Companion training.
Characters: Dean, Sam, Inara, Mal, Kaylee.
Rating: PG-13
wordcount: 1,332
Warnings: Unrequited (so far) Dean/Sam. Implied Dean/Kaylee, if you tilt your head the right way.
Neurotic Author's Note #1: So [livejournal.com profile] kinkthattwinked gave me a prompt that sort of got away with me at my last post on the topic. Oops? I actually had this plot bunny living at the back of my head, and someday it will become a real story. For the moment, this is just me playing with the characters and seeing if I can do it. I've never written Firefly, after all.
Neurotic Author's Note #2: This is unbeta'd, just written in a hurry and tossed out there in order to see what happens.
Neurotic Author's Note #3: The title is actually a quote from the episode "Heart of Gold," from Firefly.




I still don't think this is a good idea, Sammy. )
ratherastory: (Default)
Title: I See My Light Come Shining (From the West to the East)
Summary: With the Trials at an end, Dean thought that Sam would be fine and that they'd be able to turn the page on it all. As it turns out, he was wrong... Written for [livejournal.com profile] cleflink for [livejournal.com profile] spn_summergen.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Show-levels of gore. Spoilers to the end of Season 8.
Neurotic Author's Note # 1: Oh my goodness, dear [personal profile] cleflink, I tried so hard not to have unrelenting angst in this, and, um… I'm not sure I entirely succeeded. I blame Season 8, and the show in general, because unrelenting angst seems to be a Thing™ lately. I hope you like it anyway! It was a really gratifying story to write, even if it was hard.
Neurotic Author's Note # 2: I would also like to thank the lovely betas who stepped up to rescue me from myself at the last minute: [livejournal.com profile] embroiderama, [livejournal.com profile] harrigan and [livejournal.com profile] moviegeek03. You are all marvelous and if I were there in person I would shower you with kisses! <3
Neurotic Author's Note # 3: The title is taken from Bob Dylan's song I Shall Be Released. It felt appropriate. :)
Neurotic Author's Note # 4: Yes, I know, I'm posting this really late after reveals. I am so swamped with RL that I've been neglecting all things fandom. Sorry!




I See My Light Come Shining (From the West to the East) )
ratherastory: ([SPN] Writing Is Hard!)
Title: Shiny, Happy
Summary: Sam is still covered in glitter after getting beaten up by clowns, and Dean really loves his new slinky. Written for [livejournal.com profile] framedhim's prompt of slinky and perfectly paired at [livejournal.com profile] salt_burn_porn.
Characters: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 1,902
Warnings: None, unless the Sam/Dean pairing didn't give away the fact that this does, in fact, consist of consensual sibling incest.
Neurotic Author's Note # 1: Man, I almost didn't make it. I haven't properly written fic in forever, and this weekend was a doozy. But here, have porn! And glitter. And no beta at all.
Neurotic Author's Note # 2: Life is crazy these days, which is why no fic. I'm hoping that April will prove less crazy. Stay tuned!




Shiny, Happy )
ratherastory: ([Futurama] Drama)
It feels like everywhere I turn, all I'm seeing is angry SPN fans. People who hate the storyline. People who hate Amelia. People who hate Benny. People who hate Cas. People who hate the flashbacks/story structure.

People who hate Sam because he's clearly 100% in the wrong and want him to DIAF for being such a terrible brother to Dean.

People who hate Dean because he's clearly 100% in the wrong and want him to DIAF for being such a terrible brother to Sam.

So I figured I'd do a poll, for SCIENCE. What are your feelings, flist? Do you all really hate things as much as it feels like you do? Or are there some of you out there who are still enjoying yourselves?

[Poll #1883371]
ratherastory: (Crash & Burn)
Title: For the Holidays
Summary: Written for the ongoing [livejournal.com profile] ohsam comment-fic meme, for [livejournal.com profile] tarotgal's prompt, which was: Sam's first winter break at Stanford is filled with all the emotions. He's relieved to have done well at his first semester of classes. He's missing his brother and, well, maybe his dad a little, though he wouldn't admit it. And spending weeks pulling all-nighters for exam studying and completing projects has caused him to crash and finally come down with a nasty cold. Miserable, lonely, & sick, Sam wonders about where he's going to go when he gets kicked out of the dorms during the mandatory holiday break.
Characters: Sam, Jess (pre-relationship)
Wordcount: 6,773
Rating: G
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: Blink-and-you'll-miss-it S5 spoiler
Neurotic Author's Note #1: Wow, it has been a long time since I wrote some decent Sam-whump, hasn't it? I feel rusty. I feel like this story probably shows how rusty I am. But at least I'm writing, right? Right.
Neurotic Author's Note #2: So, um, [livejournal.com profile] tarotgal, I hope this is okay. There's a lot less actual head cold and it's closer to Sam/Jess than gen or slash, and… yeah, it's kind of your prompt and kind of not. Whoops. /o\
Neurotic Author's Note #3: Comment-fic, so it's unbeta'd. Read at your own peril.




For the Holidays )
ratherastory: (Default)
Title: Do You Still Feel Me? (The Altered Senses Remix)
Summary: After a lifetime of sharing absolutely everything with his brother, right down to his last thought, Dean's world goes silent. Written for [livejournal.com profile] kamikazeremix, based on [livejournal.com profile] jacyevans' the senses might alter the way that you feel. Originally posted here.
Characters: Sam/Dean
Rating: R
Warnings: consensual sibling incest, mentions of (non-explicit) underage consensual sex (Sam is 16), show-levels of violence, canonical character death.
Spoilers: to the end of S2
Neurotic Author's Note: A big thank you to the mods for heroically throwing themselves on the grenade for the good of all fandom and running this challenge! [livejournal.com profile] jacyevans, I adored your story and the premise, and I tried very, very hard to do it justice. I'm not sure if I succeeded, but it was a pleasure and a privilege to be given your fic to work with. I did take your author's notes at their word, and made the Sam/Dean more explicit than in your story, so I hope that's okay. I also incorporated a few direct quotes, which you will likely recognize.




Do You Still Feel Me? (The Altered Senses Remix) )
ratherastory: (Default)
Title: If I Die Before I Wake…
Prompt: Written for [livejournal.com profile] spn_summergen, for [livejournal.com profile] faithburke's prompt Sam always knew he had a mother right next to him. He never realized she was dead. This story… isn't quite that, but I hope it comes close enough.
Characters: Sam, Dean, John, Mary
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Canonical Character Death. Major Character Death.
Neurotic Author's Note: I would like to thank the indefatigable [livejournal.com profile] rainylemons, without whom this fic would not be possible. She held my hand the entire way and didn't let me freak out when I started over what felt like a million times. I'd like to thank her and [livejournal.com profile] yasminke for betaing the crap out of this thing, and turning it into a much better story in the process. I of course tweaked it after they were done, so all remaining mistakes are mine.

If I Die Before I Wake… )
ratherastory: (Default)
Title: The Burning Bridge
Summary: Written for [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_bigbang. Season 6 AU. With no end in sight on their quest to restore Sam's soul or to figure out just what Crowley is up to in his search for Purgatory, Sam and Dean break off in order to investigate a string of mysterious deaths in which the victims exhibited all the signs of radiation poisoning with no apparent cause before their deaths. The case takes a darker turn, however, when soon after they begin investigating Sam begins to exhibit the same symptoms as the victims. Suddenly Dean finds himself facing the disturbing dilemma of whether it might not be easier to let go of this empty-shell version of his brother and simply let the illness take its course...
Artist: The brilliant and awesomely talented [livejournal.com profile] tripoli
Link to Art: http://tripoli.livejournal.com/492758.html
Characters: Dean, Sam, Cas, Bobby, OCs
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 21,403
Disclaimer: All recognizable belongs to the CW.
Warnings: Levels of violence commensurate with the show.
Neurotic Author's Note #1: There are several people to thank for this! First off, my fantastically talented artist, [livejournal.com profile] tripoli, who illustrated this story in such an imaginative way. I am in awe, because she touched on all the important notes of the story in incredibly creative ways that would never even have occurred to me. There's also [livejournal.com profile] rainylemons, who not only beta'd the crap out of this story, but did the usual hand-holding she always does when I wailed unendingly to her about my writing, and once again served as my own personal medical encyclopedia without ever once complaining or balking. I love you, darling! Any mistakes concerning the subject matter found herein should of course be attributed to my lack of understanding, and any remaining grammar/spelling/syntactical mishaps are also all mine. And last but not least, [livejournal.com profile] wendy and [livejournal.com profile] thehighwaywoman for the herculean task of running the [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_bigbang.
Neurotic Author's Note #2: So this fic has gone through about a million permutations before it ended up here. A long, long time ago, there were conversations with a few people, [livejournal.com profile] de_nugis included, about a story about Sam with radiation poisoning. I kept meaning to write it, and even signed up for a prompt by poor [livejournal.com profile] shangrilada in order to try to get this done, but it never happened. Instead, I started writing it for the [livejournal.com profile] hc_bigbang, but when that challenge didn't work out, I gave myself one last push in order to get it done for the main Big Bang, and here it is!
Neurotic Author's Note #3: Okay, confession time. This story is actually a shameless fix-it attempt on my part. No, seriously, this is the story in which I attempt to fix ALL the things about S6, and a couple of earlier things too. Yeah, I got nothing. On a purely storytelling front, this was a surprisingly difficult story to write, mostly because Soulless!Sam was and continues to be a bit of a mystery to me. That being said, I am quite pleased with how it turned out, in the end. I hope you'll all enjoy it!

The Burning Bridge )
ratherastory: (Default)
Title: The Burning Bridge
Summary: Written for [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_bigbang. Season 6 AU. With no end in sight on their quest to restore Sam's soul or to figure out just what Crowley is up to in his search for Purgatory, Sam and Dean break off in order to investigate a string of mysterious deaths in which the victims exhibited all the signs of radiation poisoning with no apparent cause before their deaths. The case takes a darker turn, however, when soon after they begin investigating Sam begins to exhibit the same symptoms as the victims. Suddenly Dean finds himself facing the disturbing dilemma of whether it might not be easier to let go of this empty-shell version of his brother and simply let the illness take its course...
Artist: The brilliant and awesomely talented [livejournal.com profile] tripoli8
Link to Art: http://tripoli.livejournal.com/492758.html
Characters: Dean, Sam, Cas, Bobby, OCs
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 21,403
Disclaimer: All recognizable belongs to the CW.
Warnings: Levels of violence commensurate with the show.
Neurotic Author's Note #1: There are several people to thank for this! First off, my fantastically talented artist, [livejournal.com profile] tripoli8, who illustrated this story in such an imaginative way. I am in awe, because she touched on all the important notes of the story in incredibly creative ways that would never even have occurred to me. There's also [livejournal.com profile] rainylemons, who not only beta'd the crap out of this story, but did the usual hand-holding she always does when I wailed unendingly to her about my writing, and once again served as my own personal medical encyclopedia without ever once complaining or balking. I love you, darling! Any mistakes concerning the subject matter found herein should of course be attributed to my lack of understanding, and any remaining grammar/spelling/syntactical mishaps are also all mine. And last but not least, [livejournal.com profile] wendy and [livejournal.com profile] thehighwaywoman for the herculean task of running the [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_bigbang.
Neurotic Author's Note #2: So this fic has gone through about a million permutations before it ended up here. A long, long time ago, there were conversations with a few people, [livejournal.com profile] de_nugis included, about a story about Sam with radiation poisoning. I kept meaning to write it, and even signed up for a prompt by poor [livejournal.com profile] shangrilada in order to try to get this done, but it never happened. Instead, I started writing it for the [livejournal.com profile] hc_bigbang, but when that challenge didn't work out, I gave myself one last push in order to get it done for the main Big Bang, and here it is!
Neurotic Author's Note #3: Okay, confession time. This story is actually a shameless fix-it attempt on my part. No, seriously, this is the story in which I attempt to fix ALL the things about S6, and a couple of earlier things too. Yeah, I got nothing. On a purely storytelling front, this was a surprisingly difficult story to write, mostly because Soulless!Sam was and continues to be a bit of a mystery to me. That being said, I am quite pleased with how it turned out, in the end. I hope you'll all enjoy it!

Art & chapter links under the cut )
ratherastory: ([SPN] Writing Is Hard!)
Title: Of Old Time, Which Was Before Us
Summary: Sam messes up his brain one too many times. The boys cope, more or less.
Characters: Dean, Sam
Rating: PG13
Wordcount: 4,857
Disclaimer: It all still belongs to the CW
Warnings: Swearing, nothing much more
Neurotic Author's Note #1: So somewhere last night I got bitten hard by this random plot bunny. I decided to sleep on it since I have other things I needed to be writing, but it refused to let go, so I wrote it in order to get back to those other things. Here it is.
Neurotic Author's Note #2: Title is taken from Ecclesiastes 1:9. Nothing like a little Old Testament to make this really feel like Supernatural, am I right? :P




Of Old Time, Which Was Before Us )
ratherastory: (Default)
Title: Except a Memory of the Smell of Smoke
Summary: Garden 'verse. Dean has a bad reaction to a fire safety class at school.
Characters: Sam, Dean, Lisa, minor OCs
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 3,211
Disclaimer: I want a wee!Dean of my own. Can I have one?
Warnings: None.
Neurotic Author's Note #1: This was written for the latest comment-fic meme at [livejournal.com profile] hoodie_time for a prompt by [livejournal.com profile] lunasky3.
Neurotic Author's Note #2: It's been a while since I wrote something in this 'verse, hasn't it? It was nice to revisit it.
Neurotic Author's Note #3: The title is taken from a Tom Stoppard Quote.




Except a Memory of the Smell of Smoke )
ratherastory: ([SPN] Writing Is Hard!)
Title: Smile Even in the Dark
Summary: A wee coda-type thing to 7.17. Or more like wish fulfilment, IDK.
Characters: Sam/Dean/Cas (ish. It mostly reads like gen.)
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 2,884
Disclaimer: Not mine, never mine. Woe.
Warnings: None. Swearing, maybe?
Neurotic Author's Note #1: Written for [livejournal.com profile] silverbullets, so it's unbeta'd & written fast.
Neurotic Author's Note #2: Is it too much to want ALL the cuddles forever? I don't think so.




Smile Even in the Dark )
ratherastory: ([SPN] Writing Is Hard!)
Title: Save Me From the Dark
Summary: Season 5 AU. After the events of 'The End' Castiel manages to get Dean away from Zachariah, but when Dean returns he finds that nine months have gone by and, more importantly, that Sam has all but disappeared from the face of the planet. When he does find him, he discovers that Sam has been permanently altered during his absence.
Characters: Dean, Sam, OCs, minor appearance by Bobby.
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 9,829
Disclaimer: I'm waiting for the show to end so I can get 'em on sale.
Warnings: Permanent injury. Swearing.
Neurotic Author's Note: Yeah, I'm not sure where this came from, but it wanted to be written. I'm not 100% happy with it, but short of a total re-write I think it's as good as it's going to get.




Save Me From the Dark )
ratherastory: ([SPN] Writing Is Hard!)
Title: Hello, Goodbye for Now
Summary: Fusion 'verse. Ever wonder what happened to Lisa? So did I.
Characters: Lisa Braeden, Sam, Dean
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 5,612
Disclaimer: You think the producers might let me keep 'em once the show's over if I promise to treat them well?
Warnings: None.
Neurotic Author's Note #1: This is set somewhere between Mock the Midnight Bell and Defying Gravity.
Neurotic Author's Note #2: Poor Lisa kind of got short shrift in this 'verse. I thought I would give her a bit of closure. :)




Hello, Goodbye for Now )
ratherastory: ([SPN] Writing Is Hard!)
Title: The Wide Open World
Summary: Fusion 'verse. It takes Dean a while to figure out that Sam doesn't go outside anymore.
Characters: Dean, Castiel, Sam
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 4,697
Disclaimer: Still not mine, but if you hear of a sale at the CW let me know, okay?
Warnings: descriptions of extreme anxiety/panic attack
Neurotic Author's Note: So this isn't the Fusion story I was planning to write. Remember when I said I keep getting new ideas for the 'verse? Yeah. This is is what happens when I try to write for it. Things keep popping up unexpectedly.




The Wide Open World )
ratherastory: (Default)
Title: i am never without it
Summary: Dean figures out that Sam was taking him literally. He tries to fix it, in his own way.
Characters: Dean/Sam
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 7,832
Disclaimer: All property of the CW. Anything you don't recognize might belong to me. ;)
Warnings: consensual adult sibling incest, spoilers up to ep. 7.14.
Neurotic Author's Note #1: This was written for this prompt by [livejournal.com profile] zuben_eschamali at the bottom!Jared Fanworks Fest. I don't know, the prompt kept staring at me, okay?
Neurotic Author's Note #2: Holy crap, but this took forever to write! It was meant to be a throwaway coda to 7.14, but it kind of took on a life of its own. For one thing, the boys kept not having sex. /o\ Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but the meme kind of had the whole sex thing at its core, so I felt I should at least have some porn in there...
Neurotic Author's Note #3: The title is shamelessly cribbed from e. e. cummings' poem 'i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart).'
Neurotic Author's Note #4: The kelpie is totally an hommage to [livejournal.com profile] de_nugis's awesome fic, for those of you who have read it.




i am never without it )
ratherastory: (Default)
Title: Safe in Your Hands
Summary: Fusion 'verse. Castiel begins to recover from his injuries, only to discover something unusual about his relationship with Sam.
Characters: Castiel, Sam, Dean
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 3,462
Disclaimer: None of it is mine.
Warnings: No major warnings.
Neurotic Author's Note #1: So this is the next part after Not the Fall, But the Landing. Alas that it doesn't really explain exactly what happened to Cas, but it's the closest we've come so far. Please don't kill me in my sleep, 'kay? /o\
Neurotic Author's Note #2: One day, I will have filled in all the gaps in this story, but that day appears to be pretty far away. I can't believe I have nearly thirty chapters of this beast written.
Neurotic Author's Note #3: You know, when I started writing this 'verse, it was all about Sam 'n' Dean, and it still is, in most ways. It's just that Cas kind of appeared one day and I kind of want to keep him around, like a stray puppy in a trench coat. I don't know what that says about me.




Safe in Your Hands )

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