I think that's what made the fic so hard to write: the idea that John would, when push came to shove, actually choose one of his boys to die. Oh, the number of Meryl Streep jokes that ran through my head in an attempt to cheer myself up as I wrote this!

It's one of those moments that define a relationship forever, you know? They can never really go back to how things were.

Poor boys. :(