If one of the parties involved in sex says no to the other, it's noncon, no further debate.

That's my take on it too. I was trying to figure out where people in fandom consider things to be a "grey area" as it were.

The idea of someone "enjoying" rape or falling in love with the rapist appalls me to such an extent, I can't even begin to discuss it rationally. Just no. No no no. No. And furthermore, no.