ratherastory | Oh, God, I'm neurotic

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Oh, God, I'm neurotic

This is me being insecure and neurotic. Nothing to see here, move along.

Dear Self,

We have been over this. Just because a reviewer obviously didn't understand your story or maybe just didn't read it carefully does NOT mean you suck forever as a writer. Come on. There are plenty of people whose opinions you trust who told you the story worked just fine. One *anonymous* reviewer should not be enough to reduce you to a quivering pile of insecure goo.

Jesus H. Christ, woman, pull yourself together!

Love,

Me

Dear Anonymous Reviewer,

Really? You read all 8,000 words of that fic and came away with the notion that I have sympathy only for Sam and that I'm awful to Dean? Really?

I'm a little flummoxed that that's what you took away from the story. Truly.

Maybe you ought to read it again a little more carefully. Or, better yet, go away before I enlist Missouri to hit you with a spoon. I am all for constructive criticism, but that? That wasn't it.

No love,

Me

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You aren't neurotic. You're entitled to your feelings. I understand how you feel. It happens to all of us. Just think how Stephen King feels when he gets a bad review *grin*. Seriously, we put ourselves out there and sometimes what comes back isn't always so pleasant. Thankfully, the good usually outweighs the bad.

I'm sorry I've been a little neglectful in my reading. I've been feeling a bit scattered and trying to get back in the groove again. You write wonderfully, balancing emotional development with an interesting backstory. Your Sam and Dean rocks!

That's just your typical character-girl crazy. Don't let it get you down. In fact, see it as a good sign- think about how rabid those fans get at the best show episodes.

Ugh, I don't know about this particular commented, but I'll say that I think a lot of people have gotten completely ridiculous about over-investing in one Winchester over the other(s) to the point of "Team Whoever" and it really pisses me off.

I see posts that are basically, "OMG, Sam is a saint and Dean's a BIG MEANIE!" and "OMG Dean is so awesome and Sam SUCKS HARD!" and both point of view seem to me to be missing the point. Both of them have flaws and both of them have screed up and continue to do so, and both of them are awesome all at the same time.

Anyway, sorry for going off on my own tangent, but I'm sorry you got a cranky comment on your story.

*smooshes you*

I need to develop a thicker skin, clearly. Or maybe not post on fanfic.net where people can be totally anonymous. :P

No worries on the reading front. I'm way behind too, so I can sympathize.

Which story?!?! Doesn't sound like any of yours that I've read.

And would you like me to go and beat up the reviewer? (In a kind and gentle manner appropriate to a pastor on Easter morning, of course.)

I need to grow a thicker skin, clearly.

I think I got more miffed because it's an anonymous review, and thus I can't engage said reviewer in a discussion about why they felt that I gave no sympathy to Dean at all. Feh.

Ah well. At least most of the time my neuroses are amusing. ;)

Thank you for the kind words. I am being ten kinds of neurotic today.

The joy of reading is discovering what an author has to say and how they want to say it.

Not every story reads exactly the way I think or want and I may get dissapointed, but more importantly, that's where I also get surprised and inspired!!

LOL

Thank you, but that's not necessary. I'm just venting here. Seriously, though, I appreciate the sentiment. :D

The review was on ff.net for "Heaven Without You." Apparently I have no sympathy for Dean.

I don't think the reviewer read the same story I wrote, is all I can come up with.

Ah ha. I havenae read that yet - waiting until Australian tv catches up - but I'm looking forward to it.

Hey, we've all been there. And I feel you on the anonymous reviews. I got one today with some actual constructive (if a bit vague) criticism, and I was kind of bummed that I couldn't tell them thank you and ask for a bit more clarification.

Yeah, I'm a little perplexed about that aspect of fandom myself, but then I guess we've all figured out by now that I'm a SamnDean girl all the way, and that nothing makes me happier than stories that handle both boys well. :)

I also need to grow a thicker skin.

Now, that person is just wrong. I can`t say I`ve read all you wrote but from what I`ve seen you`re awful, mean and horrible to both of them. :)))

On a serious note, I have no idea how a person could read your last story and see bias. That was a "Heal the brotherly bond through torture!fic" project, not some "Let me show you who`s the better brother here" crap. Maybe that reviewer thinks that Sam doesn`t deserve to have the bond repaired? That he should go into the trash can together with the amulet? Anyway, can`t imagine it had anything to do with your writing ability. Which remains awesome. If you want to scare the reader, you scare them shitless, if you want them to sympathize with Sam, they will do so. Maybe the anon hated the unnatural feeling of liking Sam and bashed you for that.

I suck at negative-type comments. I mean, so much that I fear posting because I might get a negative comment.

And I'll be honest -- many people say they welcome concrit, etc. but I don't -- to me, it's the same as criticism. I don't mean telling me that I typed something wrong grammatically or punctuation wise -- please, I beg people to let me in on those kind of errors -- but as far as "critiquing" how I wrote my characters or the storyline I took -- even if they say it in a nice way -- it is what it is and if someone says it "would've worked better this way," then I start to doubt myself and for Christ's sake, I already doubt myself enough as it is.

Does this mean I only want people to leave nice comments? Why yes, yes it does. I'm not going to lie. But I also know this ain't realistic, someone somewhere is going to have something negative to say about something I write.

I've gotten a couple of iffy reviews on fan fic.net and my policy is to ignore, even the signed ones. I won't delete any comments but I won't engage in any dialogue either. It's so hard, it hurts my guts and usually sends me into a flipping tailspin for days but I have to toughen up. I have to.

Oh, and this is the other thing: I've read tons of stories that I didn't love or whatever and guess what? I actually walked away without leaving any sort of negative comment. Imagine that! And it wasn't even that difficult.

But you do know that for every one bad comment you get you've had like, hundreds of great comments, yes? But why is it that one shitty one that always sticks in our heads?

*hugs.*

*hugs* You're awesome. Your writing is awesome. Just reminding you.

I'll be quite honest, I lean toward Dean as a favorite character. I mean, I like it when he's the one hurt, when he's the one bottoming ;-) But neither character would be fun if they weren't playing off each other. It's the dynamic between the two that makes the show very special. I don't think you can have one without the other.

Both of them have issues, which makes great fanfic fodder. You gotta love 'em both!

And I don't think it's much of a tangent. I think that a lot of commenting comes from a personal preference. That's neither here nor there. It just is. Everything is colored by personal perception. Does that make sense?

Gosh, I didn't mean to hijack

ratherastory's post. I'm sorry I rambled so. You just made some very good points and I wanted to agree with you. Lol!

Hijack away! My favourite part of this LJ is fostering interesting discussion among my readers. :)

I love Sam and Dean equally, but I have no issue at all with people who prefer one over the other. Really, my own affections swing back and forth all the time. It's only when people start hating one or the other that I get my feathers ruffled.

*bounce*

Yeah. It's... I can't tell you. Not without spoiling.

When are you guys going to be caught up?

Pretty much, yes. I think I mostly got miffed because the reviewer was "anonymous" and didn't give me the opportunity to ask for clarification.

Apparently I am a sensitive emo princess who needs explanations about why people think my stories suck. ;)

I like your icon. It makes me giggle.

LOL

It's true. I am equally mean to both boys.

"Heal the brotherly bond through torture!fic" project

You have the most brilliant ways of describing my fic. I'm still all giggle/glowy over the "restorative crucifixion schmoop" comment you made the other day.

You rock. :D

Clearly the anon commenter was a Dean fan and was unaccustomed to feeling sympathy for Sam. I'm pretty sure I threw in a lot of sympathy for Dean, but in a very different way. Dean is a very different character than Sam, and his suffering comes out in a different way as a result.

Whatever. I vented about it and am now trying to not take it personally anymore.

"Oh, and this is the other thing: I've read tons of stories that I didn't love or whatever and guess what? I actually walked away without leaving any sort of negative comment. Imagine that! And it wasn't even that difficult."Yes this exactly. If you didn't like the POV of the story you just read, then click away 'cause there's lots of other fics out there that will be JUST what you're looking for. I read a story yesterday that I didn't like at all and didn't comment on, but there was one (anonymous of course) comment taking issue with the whole point of view of the story. The writer had every right to write the story she did and just because you don't like the storyline is no reason to trash someone's work. That sort of thing annoys me to no end. Just go away and read something else for Gods' sake!

I hear ya. I don't mind concrit, as long as it's actual, well-thought-out concrit, which it almost never is.

"Your Dean is OOC!" is not concrit. "I feel that Dean wouldn't have reacted in this way because of X, Y and Z reasons that are made clear in the show," is concrit.

I usually won't leave comments in a fic I didn't like. Fanfic is a different beast entirely from regular writing, and if I have nothing nice to say, I won't say anything at all.

And why is it that it's so easy to focus on the one negative comment amidst the myriad of nice ones? Bah.

Well, that's the crux of it. You can't hate them (preference is okay. Sometimes I like steak. Sometimes I want chicken. It's all good). I mean, sure, you can hate something they do, but not who they are. Know what I mean?

And for me, when they are at cross purposes, you know that they'll eventually re-align and it will be that much sweeter. Besides, it's great to see just complex characters on tv. Granted, I'd like to see something other than angst (but that's because I need happy and not sad right now), but I can wait. There will be humor or camaraderie soon. That's the beauty of the show.

Um, I guess I'm pretty talkative tonight. Maybe you should start a different post. *grin*

*smooshes you to death*

Thank you!

Reminders are nice. :)

Thank you for putting up with my pathetic neurotic wibbling. I try to keep it to a minimum, but it does tend to rear its ugly head. ;)

Taking issue with the POV? Really? That's... beyond not constructive. POV is writer's choice.

Oy.

just because you don't like the storyline is no reason to trash someone's work.

Yes, this.

That wasn't the criticism of my fic (just that I apparently don't understaaaand how much Dean is sufferiiiiing and only have sympathy for Sam. *g*), but it drives me crazy when I see people doing it elsewhere.

Chicken and steak! That's a... really evocative way to think of Sam and Dean.

Now I'm hungry. ;)

God, I hope they resolve the angst soon. I'm not sure my nerves can take this anymore. :P

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