Random rambling about stuff that's peripherally related to fic

[ratherastory]

My apologies to those of you who have the misfortune of being subscribed to me at AO3, I know you got spammed over the last few days as I got caught up on backing up my work.

The good news is that I'm pretty much done. I have one multi-chapter story that I still haven't backed up, but everything else is there now, so no more spam! Yay!

For those of you who didn't know that I have found yet another place to crosspost to, well, now you know. I can be found here: ratherastory.

I actually really like the AO3 format. LJ will always be my first home and my primary posting grounds, but AO3 allows me to embed images and links much the same way (unlike fanfiction.net), and I'm slowly getting used to how it works over there. There are things I still don't understand (like, what the heck does 'Orphan my works' even mean? It sounds like I'm ordering a hit on myself, which is mildly terrifying), but I'm working my way through it.

I am also pretty much caught up on all the comments & feedback that had been piling up in various places, which is definitely good. I kind of got swamped there for a while.

I am still fighting to the death with my Big Bang. I am at that point where I hate everything about the fic and am convinced it sucks. This happens pretty much with every long piece of work I have ever written, and I think it's not uncommon among writers and artists anyway. ;)

I have a bunch of medium-to-big writing projects due fairly soon. It's weird, but I've gotten a little stuck on writing long things lately. All the long fic I've posted was written a few months ago and simply finished and edited recently. The longest fic I've managed lately is maybe 3 or 4k. I don't know, it hasn't been a great couple of months, writing-wise. Hopefully things will pick up and I'll start feeling excited again about the whole writing thing. Right now everything I write feels like it's utter shit. Feh.

Comments

[nwspaprtaxis.livejournal.com]

Can I join you on the right now everything I write feels like it's utter shit. Feh. party? I've been having anxiety issues and it's spilling over into my writing and it feels like everything kind of sucks.

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

I don't even have anxiety issues. Work has been eating my brain, and not even in a good or exciting way, leaving me little energy or inclination for creative stuff. Meow.

I hope things get better for you.

[nwspaprtaxis.livejournal.com]

meh. It's just a flare... I seem to get them every couple of years or so. It's never fun but that's where I'm at these days... So yeah. Can I join the party? There's alcohol there right?

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

Alas, I'm at work, so no party. No booze, anyway. ;)

[yasminke.livejournal.com]

I will butt in to say that I will beta anything by either one of you.

And sorry about the dry state around your parts...

[nwspaprtaxis.livejournal.com]

Awwwwww. Thanks. *hugs*

[yasminke.livejournal.com]

Mean it.

[nwspaprtaxis.livejournal.com]

You have no idea how much this means to me right now. *friends you*

[yasminke.livejournal.com]

It is mutual, because yes, I do have an idea.

[nwspaprtaxis.livejournal.com]

And I love your icon.

[yasminke.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's narly, innit? And this one will be me today.

[dante-s-hell.livejournal.com]

This? This right here is how it has been for me, too. I hope it gets better for all of us soon. Especially with so many deadlines coming up. *Sigh* I feel so lazy!

[de-nugis.livejournal.com]

As I understand it, orphaning severs your works from your identity but leaves them up and available. So, if someone gets outed in real life but doesn't want to delete all their fic, that's an option. I guess that would mean that afterwards your work would be utterly out of your control, though, and you wouldn't be able to change it or decide to take it down or claim it again.

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

Ah, that explains it. Thank you!

[debbiel66.livejournal.com]

Wow, such a thing... who would have thought?

*feels sorry for poor orphaned work*

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

LOL

Better that than utterly deleted journals, if you ask me. :)

[de-nugis.livejournal.com]

It's a hard knock life, that's for sure. No one cares for you a smidge when you're in an orphanage.

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

*groans*

Quoting musicals in my LJ now?

[de-nugis.livejournal.com]

The hills are alive with the sound of musicals.

I plead diminished brain function. My life is currently devoted to allergies. Either I think about how much I itch, or I give up and take Benadryl and zone out. Neither is conducive to profound utterances.

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

There is that. You should write the boys with allergies. That'll make you feel better. ;)

[debbiel66.livejournal.com]

I plead diminished brain function. My life is currently devoted to allergies. Either I think about how much I itch, or I give up and take Benadryl and zone out. Neither is conducive to profound utterances.

THIS!

This exactly, my life too. I sneeze or I succumb to Benadryl fog.

[withdiamonds.livejournal.com]

AO3 is all about preserving the stories, so if someone decides to leave fandom, they can do that without fandom losing the stories they wrote. I would imagine that if that person changes their mind, they can un-orphan them, though.

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

That's always a very good thing. I never understood the impulse people have of deleting all their stuff when they leave fandom, but this seems like a good solution to that problem.

[faege.livejournal.com]

Amen to the "everything I write is crap and I hate it all" feeling. I've got the same thing going on over here. :P Sucks, don't it?

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

Yes. Yes it does.

[debbiel66.livejournal.com]

As someone who is very much looking forward to your BB, don't despair. I love your stories, and it will all be well.

And you are more than welcome to write some fusion!fic for therapy and relief... just saying. ;)

(I hate my own long fics while writing them too)

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

God, I hope so. This story is fighting me every step of the way. I keep thinking "Oh God, nothing has ever been this hard!" And then I look back at my notes and entries from other Big Bangs and such and realize that, no, I go through this every single time, so I think there may be a pattern here. ;)

[harrigan.livejournal.com]

Thirding the vote for more fusion fic if/when you need a break from the fic commitments.

(But I can't wait for you spn_j2_bigbang, too! I know I'll love it!)

[nwspaprtaxis.livejournal.com]

Can I vote for the And you are more than welcome to write some fusion!fic for therapy and relief... just saying. ;) option?

[yasminke.livejournal.com]

Second this.

[rainylemons.livejournal.com]

I'm having a hard time to FINDING time to write and when I do, I can't seem to write for shit. So, I feel your pain. Though, I'm not trying to hatch 75k of awesome either. :)

*kicks ground* I guess I'll go forage for food and go back to studying or something. So unfun.

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

I hear you. There's been less time to write lately, and all the 'new' beginnings I have all feel like utter crap. Right now I will settle for 75k of 'not shit' and be content. :P

[rainylemons.livejournal.com]

Chuck's full of shit - beginnings are harder than endings.

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

Seriously. Beginnings are haaaaaaard.

[nwspaprtaxis.livejournal.com]

AGREED!

[icanhazpie.livejournal.com]

THIRDED!

[chiiyo86.livejournal.com]

I always hate my long fics when I'm close to finishing them. I figure it's only normal. Currently, I have nothing but hate for my summergen fic, which is longer than I wanted it to be.

[icanhazpie.livejournal.com]

Nope. It's totally just you, ahahahahahaohwait...

Meta moment:
I suspect Chuck taking over the season finale, and all his "writing is hard", was a fan shout-out. And it worked, you know? For a story about a bunch of men who blow crap up, fight scary demonic things drooling bloody foam, and get back into their creaky vintage muscle car to drink beer, eat greasy food and listen to mullet rock... this show has an inordinate number of fans who are women writers. How many of those women listened to Chuck's ponderings, sat straight up on the couch and said, "YES. CHUCK GETS IT."

I'm betting, all of them.

Writing has always been hard. It's painting, only you're not allowed colors but rather have to use shadows, and the canvas is in someone's else's head. We wrestle with the words, and we edit, and we polish, and we grease the wheels with booze, and then we edit some more, and then we take out half of it and start that part all over again... Finally, we throw something out there, and we still don't know if it works because writers can't know. The readers have to tell us.

*clings in sympathy* I'm with you in spirit. We do it because we can't imagine not writing, not because it's easy. And if it makes you feel any better, I have never liked a fic of mine once I was 30k into it.

[nwspaprtaxis.livejournal.com]

This. This is perfect. And exactly how I feel about writing. This, especially is true and exactly how I feel about the craft: Writing has always been hard. It's painting, only you're not allowed colors but rather have to use shadows, and the canvas is in someone's else's head. We wrestle with the words, and we edit, and we polish, and we grease the wheels with booze, and then we edit some more, and then we take out half of it and start that part all over again... Finally, we throw something out there, and we still don't know if it works because writers can't know. The readers have to tell us.

[primrose-1.livejournal.com]

That's how I feel about ALL my writing! :) It's why I don't do it very much, except now I'm doing the cookie blog, so I guess I am writing a lot. That doesn't mean I think it's good.

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

I am also fighting with my Big Bang, although in my case it's more wrangling it into submission and angsting over HOW MUCH LONGER IT'S GETING. At this rate, it's going to be passing 30K. D:

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

I hear you. My H50 Big Bang is okay, definitely not more than 30k, but my SPN one is at 70k and still not fully written. *weeps quietly*