ratherastory (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ratherastory) wrote2012-04-12 03:16 pm
ratherastory) wrote2012-04-12 03:16 pm
What Do You Need?
This is a non-fandom post. I stole it from a friend of mine in a different place, because I think this is where the power of fandom can be harnessed for good. I've been feeling a little out of place and useless in the world lately, and this seems like a good way to get rid of that feeling.
Feel free to link this around, too, if you'd like. The more people see this, the more likely everyone will have a chance at getting what they need.
ETA: You don't have to be my LJ friend to participate. In fact, I highly encourage you to participate no matter what! Go ahead and ask for something. You never know what people might be able to provide.
What do you need? (Copied from a DW friend, so not in American, but you can Google translate. I like how it reads.)
(We can solve our own problems and help each other. Here's a spot to do so. Leaving it open...Non friends comments screened by default but I'll release them as soon as I see them.)
What do you need? Not what do you want? A million pounds, a fairy godmother, a nicer car.
But what do you need? A friend in Spain. Or Norfolk. A car that works, to get your kids to school. An old and unloved mp3 player that has been chewed by a cat but still works. A loan of fifty quid, for a week. Someone to trade emails with. People to visit your online shop. A hand-made card to make you feel loved. More friends on your journal. A copy of the Oxford English Dictionary, not too old. Advice on doing your own taxes. A loving but firm kick up the bum to get on with that project. Someone to talk lampwork / knitting / martial arts with. Clients to photograph in return for train fare or lunch. Help with your vet or medical bills, a dollar at a time. A used wheelchair. An unwanted bookcase. Reviews on Amazon. A cat-sitter. Reassurance because you're getting married / having a baby / getting your first job / struggling in college and need a pep-talk.
Sound off. Send people here.
ALSO? GO AHEAD AND FRIEND SOME FOLKS. Might as well frenzy a little bit too. Pleased to meet you.
Feel free to link this around, too, if you'd like. The more people see this, the more likely everyone will have a chance at getting what they need.
ETA: You don't have to be my LJ friend to participate. In fact, I highly encourage you to participate no matter what! Go ahead and ask for something. You never know what people might be able to provide.
What do you need? (Copied from a DW friend, so not in American, but you can Google translate. I like how it reads.)
(We can solve our own problems and help each other. Here's a spot to do so. Leaving it open...Non friends comments screened by default but I'll release them as soon as I see them.)
What do you need? Not what do you want? A million pounds, a fairy godmother, a nicer car.
But what do you need? A friend in Spain. Or Norfolk. A car that works, to get your kids to school. An old and unloved mp3 player that has been chewed by a cat but still works. A loan of fifty quid, for a week. Someone to trade emails with. People to visit your online shop. A hand-made card to make you feel loved. More friends on your journal. A copy of the Oxford English Dictionary, not too old. Advice on doing your own taxes. A loving but firm kick up the bum to get on with that project. Someone to talk lampwork / knitting / martial arts with. Clients to photograph in return for train fare or lunch. Help with your vet or medical bills, a dollar at a time. A used wheelchair. An unwanted bookcase. Reviews on Amazon. A cat-sitter. Reassurance because you're getting married / having a baby / getting your first job / struggling in college and need a pep-talk.
Sound off. Send people here.
ALSO? GO AHEAD AND FRIEND SOME FOLKS. Might as well frenzy a little bit too. Pleased to meet you.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-04-13 10:46 pm (UTC)(link)ETA: my lj name is byzantine_era... Stupid phone won't let me log in:(
no subject
I lost my brother a few years back,(KIA in Iraq) and it hit our family, hard. Nothing, nothing, nothing you can do can make it better, but all you can do is be there for your mom. We all stuck together, all of us in one house for days, and that was really good. The one thing I wish had gone differently was hat my mom never went for any sort of counseling, and she really, really needs to. When the time comes, you might suggest it for your mom. If she doesn't seem like she wants to go, say it's for *you* and you need her there for moral support.
(((((hugs))))) again.
no subject
The worst of it was how sudden it was... I don't think any of us expected it. Thank you for the advice... I'll be looking into grief counselling now.
no subject
Do you mind my asking how old you are? This is such a traumatic thing to go through at any age, I was just wondering... Feel free to come here and vent or cry or unload - whatever you need!! This will help you be able to kind of be a sounding board for your mom when she needs a shoulder to cry on or is venting herself without you maybe taking it personally. I don't know your Mom, I'm just comparing my experience with my Mom - sometimes she needed to let her anger out at someone.
You are not alone!!
no subject
I'm twenty eight... I think a big part of it was that I was his caregiver for many months, and he died so suddenly... we never even got the chance to say goodbye. My mom is taking it especially hard, and all I can do is sit with her... having never been in this kind of situation, I really don't know what to do.
I'm kind of dreading everything... it's like I'm on the edge of tears constantly.
no subject
The best advice I can feel I can give is to *talk* about how you're feeling. Let others know who will be supportive, and if they're not supportive, find someone else who is. Counselling is a fantastic idea because it can help you find a way to think about the enormity of your loss, and figure out how you will go on to tomorrow and then the day after, and perhaps even the day after that.
It's okay to cry. I know you know that, but in my experience, people who are grieving sometimes fear that if they start crying, they will never stop and they will cry until they break apart. You won't. You will only cry until you don't need to anymore, and then, at some other point, you may need to cry again, and then you will.
Please be gentle with yourself, if you're feeling guilty about anything concerning your father's death, please consider discussing that with a counsellor as well. Sometimes counsellors can remind us that our loved one would never have wanted us to feel guilty because of their death, and if you are feeling that, I am sure your father wouldn't have wanted that for you, either.
Your presence is helping your mother, and you don't have to *do* anything. Her grief is very peronal, and very painful, as is yours. Ask her to tell you stories about your father, hug her. Bring her tea and clothes to wipe her face if she cries. Make sure you both are eating and sleeping. Convince her to see a grief counsellor. Tell her that while she may feel like she's dying, she's not, and you both will get through this. If she wants to be distracted, bring her movies. If she doesn't, flip through old photo albums. Let her be alone if she needs it, but not for days on end. Call her friends and have them come over with dinner. Take a break for yourself when you can. Know you cannot fix this for her, and that is okay. Nothing will ever fix this loss, but time will dull it's sharp edges.
PM me if you think it would help.
Squeaky