It really is like a train wreck...

[ratherastory]

Made the mistake of peeking at my BB thread on the anon meme, and am sort of... I dunno. "Depressed" is too strong a word, because so many lovely NON-anons have come around and given great feedback, a lot of it specific.

The anon meme, OTOH, seems to have had two responses to it. The first was "OMG I had the basic concept therefore the fic cannot be good and I'm not even going to bother!" And the second one was "But she never resolved the mystery!" And apart from one person who enjoyed it, the overall response was "meh."

Damned with faint praise, in short.

The sane part of me is telling me I shouldn't go read that thread at all. The not-so-sane part can't look away, and I keep having to tell myself to sit on my hands because I keep wanting to actually engage in discussion. Like, how resolving the "central mystery or gimmick" as they put it was so very much not the point of the fic, for instance. (One commenter accused me of trying to set up a "cracky spin-off.")

So much for my poor one-off exploration of the relationship between Cas and Dean. ;)

I read a few other reviews out of curiosity, and it really feels as though the anon meme reviewers are determined not to enjoy anything they read. "Damned with faint praise" seems to be the default mode.

There's an expression in French for that, which is "Bouder son plaisir." I'm not sure exactly how to translate that, except as the willful denying of pleasure to oneself. That is, even if you liked something (and I'm not saying the anons liked my story, it's just a theory based on my perception of maybe a dozen or so BB threads), you purposefully seek out the flaws in order to hand in a final verdict of "meh."

And of course, the REALLY paranoid part of me is having conniptions about my fic actually being really terrible and all my friends being too polite to tell me. Which I KNOW is BS, don't worry! It's not rational, and I'm actually very proud of the story. But MEEP!

Okay. I'm going to make breakfast, and try not to obsess. Today's project is the spn_reversebang. Wish me luck!


:::ETA:::

I am kind of weirded out that this post has now made it into that thread. It's my LJ, folks! I can bitch about authorial intent if I want to! What you do with it subsequently is your own affair, but I get to voice my opinions any way I want to! :P

/end random pseudo-rant

:::FURTHER ETA:::

JFC, anon-meme! Am I supposed to apologize for having an opinion now? Aww, poor meme doesn't like it that I was unthrilled with their honest opinions about my fic. I don't like the word "butthurt" for many reasons, but it does spring to mind, especially since it seems to be a favourite of yours. :P

Apparently my posts like these foster anti-anon-meme sentiments. Oh noes! Because I'm sure people wouldn't have these opinions if I didn't post first. *snort* I think you overestimate my ability to influence people, there.

I will HAPPILY cop to the fact that I do enjoy the head-pats and virtual cookies I get about my fic when I post. I am a comment-whore when it comes to my fic and have never made a secret of it. Neurotic? Me? Why, yes. I do like to think that I'm at least a wee bit entertaining about it. Maybe not in this particular post, but in others.

I'd like to point out that nowhere in this post did I rend my clothes, gnash my teeth and wail that the anon-meme was meeeeeaaaan to me. I just said that I was disappointed at what I perceived to be an overwhelmingly indifferent response to my fic (admittedly, there are apparently more positive comments later on that I didn't see). I really don't think that's so very terrible of me. No author wants to be thought of as "meh," do they? It turns out that "meh" is equivalent to a positive signed comment elsewhere, but since I'm not a frequent visitor to the meme, I was unaware of this subtle aspect to the art of being an anonymous commenter. I'm not sure I'm going to thank anyone for that, mind you.

Beyond that? My LJ, meme. I can post what I want (within the TOS, obviously), and if other people choose to air anti-meme sentiments within the post, that's not my doing.

I'm probably going to regret this edit later on, but whatever. Early-morning posting is second only to drunken-posting for later regrets, right?

Comments

[pyrebi.livejournal.com]

Ah, dude, don't feel hurt.

Before my mini bang posted I was making myself sick over what the meme would say. Seriously. I was all over Twitter complaining about being nervous to post it, and though I didn't say so, the meme's possible reaction was the reason. The reason why is because I consider it "honest" feedback, and I was terrified to find out if my fic was "honestly" bad.

One of the best and worst things about fandom is that we're a culture of niceness. We encourage other people to create and want them to encourage us in turn. How many times have you read a fic that you went "ehhhh" to part of it, but in the end you focused only on the good in your review? Or, if it was a deal-breaking "ehhhh," you simply didn't review at all? There is this mass notion in fandom that, though most of us say we welcome CC, nobody actually wants to hear anything bad about their fic.

The threads at the anon meme can be cool. Think of it as, hm. Think of it as being able to eavesdrop on a conversation about you. They're not talking about you for your benefit, or even expecting you'll ever know about the conversation. They're just discussing you the way they see it, with no biases. That sort of thing, in fandom, is rare. Use these candid remarks to better your writing--they're constructive criticism!

I went and looked at your thread before commenting, and bb, don't worry. You have a great thread. Everybody who read it had something positive to say about it; those who didn't read it probably aren't your demographic anyway, for whatever reason they have. Don't be hurt--these aren't people who are reviewing your fic for your benefit. They're doing it to discuss it as a product of fandom. Hell, some of 'em may even be the same people who have already left comments for you on the fic itself, but for whatever reason were afraid of offending you. Most non-anon users censor themselves constantly; nobody wants to be "that bitch who always finds something wrong with fics." (Believe me, I've known a couple in my day, and I'm not proud to say I resented them sometimes. Culture of nice, remember? How dare she come onto my journal and tell me to my face that she didn't like the set-up for my story? How rude! Didn't your momma ever tell you that if you don't have something nice to say, better to...oh wait.) So the meme, then, becomes a place for people to say "I liked this, but..." without fear of being labeled "that bitch." -chuckles-

I don't know, man. It's up to you, how you decide to take the comments your thread over there gets. But me, I appreciate it. When my mini bang went live? Yeah, there were people who had issues with my story. There were people who said they didn't read parts of it (or all of it!) because of my secondary pairing. Then there were all of the people who said my Castiel characterization was off. And you know what? They were right. It is off. I knew that. I could tell, as I was writing my fic, that something was wrong. But then I ran out of time, out of steam, and called the story done. And my characterization was off. But you know what? Not a single one of the eighty people who commented un-anon to my fic mentioned that. Not one. But five people on the meme did. I appreciate every single one of the people who commented on my fic and told me that I'm amazing, don't get me wrong. I love all of them and am so grateful. But still, I also appreciate the nonnies who discussed my fic candidly, because I've learned from their reactions.

So, yeah. Don't feel hurt. Look at this as a unique opportunity. People! Talking about your fic! Constructive criticism! Yay! -sheepishly hopeful grin-

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Isn't there an adage about eavesdroppers never hearing anything good about themselves? It's like a bad rom-com plot device. ;)

I'm a little conflicted, honestly. Sure, I'd like to think that I'd take con-crit in stride, and some people on ff.net have actually done so and signed their names. In those cases, we've sometimes had a nice, productive dialogue about narrative choices and all that.

Then again, maybe I'm just another snowflake who'd get all my feathers ruffled if someone came into my LJ and told me my fic wasn't their cup of tea. I don't know.


(For what it's worth, I didn't notice the characterization problems in your BB, because it was AU and I was expecting the characters to be different. I was also maybe laughing too hard to notice. ;) )

And I'm not sure what I'm supposed to learn from a comment saying: "She didn't resolve the central mystery," when that was never my intention to begin with.

Meh. I'll make some hot chocolate, find a ladder and get over myself eventually. I'm apparently a delicate petal over here.