Rather a Story

You know that moment when you read a fic by an author you know and love? And this is a really long fic that they've basically dashed off on the metaphorical corner of a napkin, and they apologize for it not being beta', and by the time you're done you're a wreck?

Right?

So, this inevitably leads to me being a) thrilled at the fic and b) too depressed to ever want to put pen to paper again.

I'm not a bad writer. I know this. I write pretty clean copy, and I have occasional flashes that result in pretty nifty sentences here and there. Overall, though, I'm pretty middle of the road as writer. Nothing very inspired, and my plots tend to be either repetitive or pedestrian or derivative. Again, I'm not saying I'm bad. But after over twenty years of honing my craft, I've achieved "okay," and it's incredibly frustrating and demotivating. It would take me five lifetimes to ever reach the level of proficiency that I want, so at a certain point, I have to ask myself why I bother?

I'm not one of those people who would just simply diiiiiie without writing. I have stopped writing in the past, and lo, I am still alive. It feels melodramatic and disingenuous to say otherwise for me. When I was little I would read L.M. Montgomery et. al. and nod my head at all those heroines who declared that they simply could not imagine a life without writing! That's a lie, though. I don't have to write to live, and I've gone for months and years without writing in the past.

The irony is not lost on me that I've given pep talks to other people on this subject. You should write anyway! Everyone has their own unique take on a subject! Every word is important! Etc. I just can't seem to apply this to myself. *shrug*

I got nothing. I'm just depressed and angry at myself because I was supposed to write 5k today and now I'm not going to.

So you remember how I was raving about Cracked earlier? I decided to do something about it, since there doesn't appear to be a fandom per se, yet.



Seriously, this show made me not only start a new comm, but made me figure out (with lots of help!) how to do custom CSS and make a banner and an icon. For anyone who knows how useless I am at this crap, you will know just how big a deal this is for me!

The episodes are all streaming for free here, but alas appear to be only viewable in Canada. I am going to do my best to find a way for all my international friends to watch as well, should any of you be interested.

:::ETA::: I have been linked to a place where my US friends can watch the pilot! HERE

And if tomorrow is quieter at work (please, God, oh please), there might even be fic.

If I have piqued your interest, come on by! I can try to arrange for episodes to be available to you, and I'd appreciate any pimpage at all. :)

I have lots and lots of thoughts about Season 8. The problem is that I'm a little too anxious to post them here or anywhere else, because it feels like all I've seen online lately is people getting more firmly entrenched in a pro-$brother position. As though somehow one brother has to be unconditionally right and the other unconditionally wrong. A lot of it is anti-Sam, which hurts my little Sam!girl heart, but I've seen enough anti-Dean commentary to make my stomach hurty as well. :P In fact, it's making me actively avoid any meta/commentary posts even by people I normally trust, because I can't trust that the comments won't be full of vitriol, and I'm worried that even these lovely, sane people might somehow fall down the same rabbit hole and then I would be sad. (No, it's not rational, whatever.)

I hope I can safely say that it isn't about who's right and who's wrong. Both boys have been very badly damaged/hurt by what happened, and they're each coping in their own way. They're both entitled to their feelings, and they're both right and wrong. That's always been the strength of the show: that every character has their reasons for what they're doing, and while we may disagree with the choices they make (and for the record, mistakes are choices by definition, otherwise they'd be accidents), we can understand where they're coming from and why they're acting the way they are.

Also, it feels like it's frowned upon to not have strong feelings about the season. You're supposed to love it or hate it, but you're not allowed to like some parts and not others. God forbid I enjoy the show but at a lesser level of involvement than I used to feel.

In short, I don't think I can post my thoughts without having to put in several thousand caveats first, and that is sucking the fun out of it.

FML. People, PLEASE don't post comments in here about how Show is "clearly" favouring one brother over another. You are PROVING MY POINT about why I am reluctant to post anything or even click on meta links. Take it to your own journals! Please and thank you.

*sheepish wave*

Hi all!

So, um, for a fanfic journal, it's been depressingly void of new fanfic in here, recently. I apologize. The short version of the story is, well, pretty much everything I've written since March is pure and utter shit, and I haven't been able to finish a single damned story.

I'm only marginally optimistic I'll be able to get my exchange fic done in time this week, and I'm probably going to end up dropping out of the couple of challenges I'm still in.

Woe is me, etc. *shrug*

Anyway, in case you were wondering what the hell happened, well, there it is. :)

I dare you to watch this and not be moved. No, really. I dare you.



Vid by BrendaTapesThings.

Trying the episode reaction thing I usually do with SPN. Those of you who aren't familiar with this, it's just me commenting on the episode as it happens. There is a lot of squee, a lot of flailing, and not much by way of insightful thinking. ;)


( Welcome back to Steve's face! )

I watched the SPN trailer, and now I am FILLED WITH SQUEE! \o/

( Vid behind the cut )

CAS!

AND SAM!

AND DEAN!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Gah.

Cliffhanger.

*brandishes fist impotently at H50 writers*

( In which ratherastory has feeeelings about the finale. )